I’m obsessed with self-sabotaging habits. Or maybe I should say I’m obsessed with figuring out WHY it is we are saying we want something, we know what we NEED to do yet we somehow screw it up and find ourselves back at square one after a half a$$ed try.
But before we dig into all of this, let’s look at what sabotaging habits are!
Self-sabotaging habits are simply what it sounds like, habits that we lean on to sabotage for ourselves. We are either aware of them or they are so ingrained in us that we don’t realize that we are doing them that hold us back from achieving our goals.
Some of the most common ones are procrastinating, perfectionism, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs or comfort/stress eating.
I find it so interesting that we keeping doing the same things over and over to ourselves. We say we want to lose weight but then 2pm rolls around and our old habits of snacking, and giving up show up and we eat that sleeve of Oreos and just say screw it, I’ll start over next week.
Or we say that we want to save money, yet we go to Target to get milk and come home with a new lamp, a rug and a skirt too and blew the budget quickly.
Did you know that all of these self sabotaging habits are rooted in fear and that we often rather stay safe and comfortable than pushing through what our new brain pathways are trying to create.
Think about it. Would you rather take a path that’s paved with signs along the way and a gps telling you where to turn a head of time or be dropped in the middle of a corn field and someone tell you good luck to create your own road to your new destination. Our brains are the same. They burn less calories going the paved way. They want us to be safe and the paved road is safe for us because we’ve done it over and over and know the pot holes in the road. It’s hard to create new pathways and new habits. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean that it’s not the way for us to take and that it will not be easier in the long run…
Here are some ways that you might find yourself sabotaging!
We procrastinate because we are afraid to put ourselves out there, fear of other people opinions, fear of failure, fear of success. It’s more comfortable to stay in our box where they know where they have us, and do what we always have done.
We are perfectionists because we don’t feel “good enough” that we need the perfect answer, perfect paper, perfect picture, perfect website, perfect tag line, and unless it’s not – then we rather just don’t do it. It’s more comfortable to keep working on it, because then we can’t get judged or feel like it could have been better.
We self-medicate ourselves with alcohol, drugs or food to numb ourselves because it’s easier than to deal, with the real issues. We are to tired, too stressed and anxious to take a long hard look at ourselves and take ownership and instead chill with a bottle of wine and Netflix. We don’t feel like getting uncomfortable and doing the hard thing that create change.
We blame others because we don’t want to take responsibility ourselves. It’s not us – it’s them. It’s not me, it’s my boss. My business is not working because I don’t have money to invest. It’s my spouse who is crazy not me. It’s more comfortable to blame “them” than taking personal responsibility.
We don’t find time because what would actually happen if we started to do the work and it still is not successful? It’s easier to hide behind our kids, our chores at home, our to do list than to MAKE time for what we are too afraid of trying.
I think you get it. We choose to stay comfortable instead of doing the things that scares us.
So how can YOU take control of your habits..?
Because that’s all it is. You are letting yourself THINK and ACT in a way that is setting you up for failure!
We need to bring awareness to it and start to re-write your story.
You HAVE the time. You have the tools. (You can find anything and anyone on the good ol’ GOOGLE!) You CAN do it.
Trust me, you are not that special. If other people can figure it out, so can you!
Start inviting curiosity into your life.
Start trying to recognize your patterns.
When you feel yourself procrastinating – what is it you are not feeling like doing..? Wouldn’t it just be better to get it done and out of your head..?
Girl. I KNOW how you feel.
But there is a point in your life when you have to decide to either do it or just stop the mindless circle of “I want to BUT…” ” I need to, BUT…”
Excuses and fears will take you NO freaking WHERE.
You KNOW there is more for you!
You know that you are not put on this earth to have a “ugh life” to be on auto-pilot and just survive day to day.
It’s time to choose yourself and your God-led calling that is pounding in your heart and mind constantly.
Do something. Take some kind of action towards it and clarity WILL come.
So… what CAN you do?
Bring awareness to your thoughts. Just observe what’s going on “up there.”
Decide what you want more of..?
Choose imperfect action over comfort.
That last one is the most important one!!! If you choose imperfect action over comfort you will WIN no matter what.
Show up! Be freaking BRAVE and do it despite the fears, despite your worries, despite it maybe will fail! Or maybe BECAUSE of all those fears because you know that behind all those fears your elevated life is hiding!!
You will grow, pivot, change and figure it out along the way. That’s the point of life. You don’t need to have all the answers before you start showing up.
You just have to do something.
Choose imperfect action over comfort every single time and your confidence will grow.
Don’t sit there and wait. Mooooove.
It’s your time, friend!
Imperfect action over comfort wins every single time.
Oh, and don’t forget to drink some water.